How to Balance Wedding Planning Duties Between the Bride and Maid of Honor
The maid of honor plays a vital role in the planning and execution of a wedding. The bride depends on her for both practical and emotional support, but it’s a fine balance. Your chosen maid should be someone you can rely on, but you can’t expect an unreasonable commitment. Know the standard role of a maid of honor, and be sure the one you choose understands and is comfortable with your expectations.
Choosing a Maid of Honor
The historical original purpose of bridesmaids was to serve as decoys. In the event someone planned to kidnap the bride, her maids were the bait. Today’s maids are not expected to make such a sacrifice, but they still have a lot to do to support the bride.
The duties of a maid of honor have changed a lot over the years. In modern times, she typically plans the bridal shower and bachelorette party. She helps organize the other bridesmaids and is the bride’s right-hand gal during events, not to mention a source of emotional support.
Of course, none of these things are hard and fast rules. You can decide exactly what role your maid of honor will play as long as she understands what is expected of her and is ok with her role.
When choosing a maid of honor, decide on these expectations first and then choose someone you believe can fulfill them. Typically a maid of honor is a best friend, a sister, or another close female relative. Choose your maid of honor well before the wedding and fill her in on what she’ll do. Don’t take offense if she doesn’t feel up to the task. Either adjust your expectations or move on to your second choice.
Wedding Dress Shopping
Choosing the gown is one of the first things a bride does in planning her wedding. It’s a big decision, so you need some honest feedback. Of course, too many opinions can complicate the matter, so choose just a few vital people to assist. One smart choice is to shop wedding dresses under $500.
Your maid of honor is someone who knows you well, so having them weigh in on your dress is a great idea. Bring them along to help you make this most crucial of wedding decisions.
A maid of honor can also help with the selection of bridesmaid dresses. Rely on your maid of honor to work with the bridesmaids to make their choices and ensure they order them on time as well as manage fittings so they get squared away without a hitch and crossed off the to do list.
Planning the Bachelorette Party
Modern tradition holds that the maid of honor plans the bachelorette party. This can be a big job, especially if it will be a weekend event or involve traveling. Be sure your maid is up to the job and comfortable with doing all the planning. The maid of honor typically plans surprises for the bride, invites all the guests, and makes all necessary reservations and travel arrangements.
If you are hoping for a big event or a trip for your bachelorette party, consider enlisting one of your bridesmaids to assist the maid of honor. Asking one person to plan it all might be too much.
This will take some of the pressure off her shoulders. You might even want to be the one to assist. This isn’t traditional, but breaking the rules is okay if it works for you and your maid of honor.
Keep Everything Moving
One of the most crucial jobs of a maid of honor is simply to be there to assist the bride in whatever way she needs. This often means being the person at events that keeps everything on track and running smoothly.
- Directing and herding bridesmaids.
- Providing beauty touch-ups.
- Keeping the bride’s veil, train, and dress photo-ready.
- Keeping any problem guests away from the bride.
- Answering questions
- Being ready to soothe a jittery bride.
- Dealing with any problems as they arise and potentially keeping them from the bride.
These kinds of tasks take pressure off the bride, who may be nervous and anxious. The maid of honor can play this role on the day of the wedding but also at other events, like the bridal shower or rehearsal dinner.
Make the Maid of Honor Role Your Own
The great thing about modern weddings is that you can break the rules. Throw tradition out the window if you want. Enlist a man of honor instead of a maid of honor. Create the role for them that works best for both of you and the entire bridal party. Use traditional roles as a starting point and then adjust them as needed to create the wedding of your dreams.
