You have just met someone who seems absolutely incredible. You have known them for only a short time but every time you are with them, you feel butterflies in your stomach and a lightness in your heart.
You feel like nothing can go wrong in this relationship. For now, at least.
However, despite how perfectly matched you two may seem now, there are certain things you need to be wary of as you tread the tumultuous and exciting world of romance.
Let’s look at these red flags.
1) Talking too much about their ex
Does your significant other have an intense and unhealthy fascination with their previous relationships?
It’s normal to reminisce on past experiences, especially those with significant emotional bearings attached to them. However, talking about your ex too much can be a red flag and could be an indication that they are still hung up on their former partner.
If they constantly badmouth their ex, that’s typically also a sign that they are not ready to let go and move on. Moreover, if they still are in contact with their ex or still frequently interact with them on social media, you may need to have a discerning and honest talk with your partner about whether you are okay with it.
2) Signs of a controlling nature
Something that no one wants in a relationship is being controlled by their partner. It’s easy to hide being controlling in the beginning because people are usually on their best behaviour, especially if they’re attracted to you as well.
However, once they have established that you are willing to put up with these types of behaviours, they might not be as considerate about hiding it anymore.
It’s important to remember that everyone deserves respect and trust within a relationship. If your partner constantly tries to limit you or emotionally manipulate you, something is definitely wrong!
It’s also important to recognize that being wrongfully accused of doing something wrong even if you’re totally innocent is grounds for legal action. If you do find yourself in this scenario, don’t be afraid to get yourself out of that environment and find external help immediately – for example, LY Lawyers provide an overview of laws and charges related to sexual assault.
3) Constant criticism of your appearance or weight
A good partner doesn’t judge their significant other for their weight or body type. If your partner is constantly finding fault with your looks, there are no two ways about it – they’re definitely worth taking the boot!
However, context also matters. If your partner gently recommends that you lose weight for health reasons, that’s a different story. However, if they have an almost obsessive fixation with your weight and appearance without you being willing to change anything about yourself, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate the situation.
4) Runs away from difficult conversations
Do you and your partner avoid discussing difficult relationship topics, like their drinking habits or wandering eyes?
Anyone who’s ever been in a relationship knows that every partner has flaws. These problematic traits and habits are the things you may have to put up with – so acceptance is key.
However, if your partner refuses to acknowledge their difficult traits and how it causes a strain in the relationship, then that’s a bad sign that they’ll do this for the duration of the relationship and leave you unsatisfied.
A good partner will understand that constructive criticism is necessary. If your partner runs away from these difficult conversations, it’s a telling sign that they’re clearly not in it for the long run.
5) Has violent tendencies
Any sign of physical violence will need to be taken very seriously, especially if it’s aimed at you.
If your partner has ever hit you – regardless of whether it was in the heat of the moment or not – get out of that situation immediately. It’s a sign that they aren’t emotionally mature to handle such a situation, and you deserve someone who respects you enough to not resort to violence over an argument.
There are too many people who try to excuse their partner’s violent behaviour, but this is always unacceptable. Don’t be one of these people. You have a right to walk away from anyone who doesn’t respect your boundaries.
6) Creates a barrier between you and your friends and relatives
If your partner creates any ultimatum for you to choose between them or your friends and family, that’s a sign that things are turning south.
If they are trying to isolate you from the people who have cared about you all your life, then that is a red flag. It might happen gradually at first – just something small like nagging you to spend more time with them instead of being with your friends.
But if they constantly bring up the topic and it makes you feel guilty, then that’s a bad sign that they’re trying to manipulate you into choosing them instead of those who care about you.
This is one of the most malicious tactics used by toxic partners – because people who truly love us will never try to make any conditionals that separate us from the people we love.
7) Tries to access your social media
Everyone has a right to their own privacy, and it’s up to you whether you want to give social media access to your partner. If, without you giving permission, they insist on reading your chat history or asking for your social media passwords – that might be a sign of some serious trust issues.
8) Makes you feel dumb
Does your partner throw around phrases like “That’s such a bad opinion.” or “I’m baffled you believe that.”?
If your partner is constantly trying to belittle you, that behaviour is toxic and dangerous. It’s also a sign that they’re trying to gaslight you, making you feel as if you’re losing your grip on reality.
Your partner’s role is to lift you up, not make you question yourself and your beliefs. Don’t settle for anyone who makes you feel small and worthless – there are plenty of people out there who will love and support you unconditionally. For more additional information check out divorceanswers.com for signs that your husband is cheating on you.